Practice Makes Permanent
As many of you know, my high school soccer coach Art Resnick (Rez) was one of the most impactful people in my life.
In retrospect, it is shocking that this is my first post about him. He was a person who came into my life when my brain and soul were inherently plastic and moldable. His words helped shape and define the very nature of who I am.
His ability to find different ways to motivate his players by identifying the incredibly unique way people tick to this day as a clinical psychologist is awe-inspiring.
He also had “isms”. He had quotes that he would say, and hand out to us on Xerox paper at the end of each practice. He left us every night with something to be inspired by, sleep on, integrate, and keep with us. These quotes and “isms” would weave together and create a layer of excellence and expectation that I can still hear while working and persevering.
“Practice makes Permanent,” he would say.
Not perfect. How you show up and what you do daily does not make you perfect, but it makes it permanent. If you show up without a work ethic, if you consistently do not use your left foot because it is weak, if you duck your head when a ball is coming towards you, you will not only do that in the game but in your life. We are all products of our commitment and our consistency.
The one consistent message we received on that team was that talent was not what was truly important. It was what we put in that mattered.
Years before the concept of Grit and Angela Duckworth, the Hidden Potential of Adam Grant, and the Mindset of Carole Dweck, Rez was able to communicate that success lies in effort.
Without knowing these terms or theories, we were learning about grit and building resilience, the importance of struggle and hardship in our quest for greatness.
As a parent and psychologist, I have witnessed the shift from helicopter parenting to snowplow parenting. Snowplow parenting involves eliminating friction and obstacles in children’s paths to guarantee their success.
When faced with these snowplow scenarios, I often reflect that overcoming setbacks is what builds greatness.
If we remove all of the hurdles from our children’s lives, how can they possibly practice overcoming hardship? How do they learn their own strengths and abilities?
We succeed when we practice, and practicing our capabilities, learning how to communicate hard things, and reaching far-off goals are all part of our growth and learning.
So let’s stick with it. Practice does not make us perfect- but it sure is permanent.
If frustration causes us to give up, and we practice that repeatedly, that becomes our default.
If frustration catalyzes us to dig deeper and be more creative, the very thing that frustrates us becomes part of our fuel.
Thank you, Rez, for my early education in fortitude and exposure to the importance of playing the game of soccer and life with our hearts every bit as much as much as our heads.
Below are some vintage Rez notes. Enjoy.
