The 5 Things I Am Reflecting On for 2025

Dec 12

Sleep Regimen

This topic crossed my mind around 4 a.m. this morning—and I thought about how many people have recently said to me, “I keep waking up at 3 or 4 in the morning.” I came up with this sleep “cocktail” that, for me, has helped. I am trying to avoid taking additional sleep aids as much as possible—though if you are truly not sleeping, please please talk to someone about it. There is nothing worse for our brains than lack of sleep (not to mention everything else).

What’s been helpful for me:

Chamomile tea when I get into bed
*Sleep Optimization (two before bed): https://localnutrition.co/products/sleep-optimization?srsltid=AfmBOopXTd4TWlhLEsk0AyTT0sF-2lgoI5N2nSrJyq6aHTJyLu1LbrG9
This 60-minute yoga nidra meditation for insomnia when I wake in the middle of the night: Sleep Yoga Nidra for Insomnia // Full Length 1 Hour
Phone in sleep mode, placed in this box:
https://goaro.com/?srsltid=AfmBOop9Z7W_z3jZhZXl6-_lOBZx6DwpqyGFW1529lkHYuull4OjMZcc
*Remember I am a doctor but not your doctor. Please check with a medical professional before taking any supplements.

Leaning Into Our Instincts

This has been the year of the nervous system—slowing down and recognizing its vigilance. The things the nervous system often recognizes long before our minds are ready to accept what our bodies already know.

I became a health psychologist because I was drawn early on to this question: Why do our bodies start to carry stress? When did having a bad back or a headache come to mean something emotionally difficult?

After twenty years of doing this work—and through my own lived experience—I have grown to deeply value the strength of our bodies to keep the score. I am in awe of how much our bodies protect us from harm and work overtime to keep us safe. This has made me even more emphatic in my belief that we need to treat our bodies with respect and love. We need to stop shaming these workhorses that keep us upright and protected.

Tune into your body’s signals. It will tell you what is happening underneath. There is no diagnosis more accurate than the one our bodies offer us.

Making Sure You Nourish Yourself

I had my healer last night—after work, which is unusual for me, as I typically see her on a Saturday or Sunday. What a gift it was to go after a full day of seeing patients. I was present, not distracted, and as she worked on my back and neck, I could feel the release. Behind my eyes, color lit up—a pink-golden hue.

Afterward, she said to me, “Your body is telling me that you need a little more rest. You’re pushing hard. What we resist persists. Ease off the gas to allow space for the growth of what you’ve planted. Your body is showing effort—it isn’t bad, but it is strenuous.”

She was right.

After she left, I turned on the TV with my younger son. We watched his high school team’s basketball game, and I turned off my phone. I needed a minute.

Our bodies are not an endless supply of energy and resources. They need to be cared for and nourished. Take care of yourself. You are the engine. Treat yourself as you would the person you love most in the world.

Making Our Relationships Count

Last month, I wrote about the miraculous awakening of my aunt. Sadly, we lost her last week. It was her time, and the road ahead would have been very hard. How much recovery would have even been possible is unclear—but I treasure that I was able to say goodbye, to see her in a moment of true clarity.

I was reminded how important relationships are with those who have known you forever—those who love you unconditionally, who know your quirks and habits, and who share a DNA that explains the unexplainable.

I am also acutely aware that my brother and I wrote our new Passover Seder on our way up to visit her, and in some way she was woven into that ritual. That holiday will now forever help us pause and think of my aunt. She will be with us in so many tangible ways. It makes me think- how can we build permanence into our rituals? How do we weave people into our experiences so they stay with us- event when they are not there? That is something I will play with…

Take What You Need and Leave the Rest

I wrote that line before I fully knew what I meant by it in this moment. I think what I mean is this: make this life count.

Do not be afraid to be impactful. Try things. It is okay to want to be a creator, to strive, to feel fulfilled by making an impact and having a voice. It is also okay to leave something if it isn’t serving you. We get to try things on and see what fits.

We are allowed to make mistakes, to experiment, and to change our minds. That is how we know we are living well. New chapters and new seasons are signs of growth. Each season serves the one that comes after it and is inspired by the ones that came before.

There will always be doubters—or people who are not in your corner. It is okay to recognize who is truly your champion and who may be threatened by your light.

Take what you need. Leave the rest.

May this end-of-year season bring you joy and festivity. Whatever Festival of Lights you celebrate, hit the pause button. Recognize the beauty and grace of your body and the uniqueness of your mind. Surround yourself with people who deserve you.

I’ll see you on the other side of 2025. Thank you to those who have found resonance and comfort in my words. I’m looking forward to the next season- are you?

Xxx- dr. D

Get to Know

Dr. Danielle Shelov

Dr. Shelov's therapeutic approach emphasizes understanding individuals within the context of their families, childhood experiences, relationships, and larger systems as crucial to psychological treatment.