Why the 80’s Are Back

Jun 9

Everywhere- for the first time since I can remember- the nostalgia of the 80s is seeping in.

There is something about the '80s vibe that seems to be affecting everyone, from the original Gen Xers all the way down to the high schoolers. The burnt orange colors and shag rugs, the pull toward retro everything, from vintage Levi's to cowboy boots, even smoking cigarettes (which I am not endorsing), seem to be filling our society. For the first time, I hear my teenage sons cranking up music that was part of the soundtrack of my youth and my world, when I looked and sounded exactly like them.

They seemed shocked that I know the words, and I explained to them that this song had an entire lifespan before TikTok breathed new life into it. How about the fact that The Breakfast Club is becoming popular again and still holds up as the perfect high school cast that represents any cafeteria on any given day? I was recently listening to a podcast that discussed how home telephones are back in, and how people are purchasing a retro-looking (Bluetooth) phone that bundles all the cell phones in the house together to ring through on one line.

Wait, what? Is this real?

Will books all of a sudden become cool again, too? We can only hope.

So what is happening? Why are the 70s and 80s back, taking our youth by storm and steeping us in nostalgia, comfort, and relief? I don't know for certain, but I can certainly throw out some ideas.

I have the luxury of taking the pulse of all generations at once through my work. I sit across from people aged 18 to 70, all in the same day, and I hear the inner workings of their minds and hearts.

I hear, over and over, that we are ready to feel freedom again.

We are ready to have days that are not filled with pessimism and over-information. We are ready for our politics and the engines running our world to become quieter again, to run without us knowing it is happening. To feel the safety of the autopilot of our country. To have elections once every four years, instead of an endless drone of arguing, manipulation, and intensity that we cannot get away from.

Our everyday lives have become spiked with fear and foreboding. We are afraid to go in the sun, worried about traveling, and overthinking our future. And the fear runs deeper than that.

In my work, I am watching people retreat from each other and choose the safety of a screen over the risk of another person.

We have started falling in love with chatbots instead of people, because a machine cannot leave you, cannot disappoint you, cannot break your heart. It is the ultimate protection from risk.

But I have witnessed enough love stories over the years to promise you this: there is no machine that will ever make you feel the cascade of sensations that comes with falling in love with a real human. The risk is the reward. So what do we do when we are so clearly starved for our freedom and our simple pleasures?

We remember that we are part of the system.

We still have agency over what we choose to listen to and what we practice. What we practice grows stronger—our brains learn through repetition, building the neural pathways for whatever we do most. Which means we can train them the other way too: we can unlearn bad habits, or an addiction to social media, simply by doing them less.

It may feel awkward at first, as if you are going against the norm or your own instinct. But do it repeatedly, and a new habit forms. We can choose our habits and rituals. Begin by doing the things you want to have in your life, and eventually they become your life.

Back in the day, we just had fewer options.

We had our friends, our home phones, and maybe some of us had cable TV. We had to leave the house to have our experiences, and they were always shared.

We hung out and did a lot of nothing, but in the end, we felt richer, fuller, and more connected. It is the opposite of the insular experience of doom scrolling. The 70s and 80s are back, I think, because we want fewer options. We want simplicity and connection instead of hijacking and worry. We want to turn down the volume of a world that seems to have taken on a mind of its own and is trying to keep us locked in.

Now is your moment to think about three things you can do differently that will begin to quiet the noise and reclaim your space.

I will share my three summer intentions with you.

My invocation of the 80s:

I am bricking my phone as much as I can.
Buying a home phone
Try to live more without the worry of consequences

What about you??

Tell me- and I will talk about the top three intentions I receive.

Let's see where it takes us.

Xxx—Dr. D.

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Dr. Danielle Shelov

Dr. Shelov's therapeutic approach emphasizes understanding individuals within the context of their families, childhood experiences, relationships, and larger systems as crucial to psychological treatment.